Flesh out the ‘Nevers”-when not to give choices.You are welcome to turn to one or two other people and discuss two of the above four scenarios so that choices within limits are provided.Activity: Have people think of the three directives they most often give students and change them into enforceable limits.Paul Handout Teaching with Love & Logic booklets.So lets dig into this and figure out what pieces we can use. And I am fairly sure that is I need the services of a neurosurgeon that I would want him to be up on his continuing education. I know that often times, when we attend workshops or trainings we think, “Not again.” “What is the new thing this year?” I have felt that too until I thought about how our job is as complicated and challenging as any neurosurgeon or rocket scientist. What this strategy can do is to help us to calm our own reactivity to students which in turn escalates their behavior. No strategy will change the fact that they students we work with are very challenging and often time come from very challenging situations. There are no quick fixes in our line of work.Use a one liner, “Thanks for telling me.”Ĭontact Kathy Utter to check out Love and Me, “I don’t think that’s fair,” and we will If you feel something is unfair, whisper to I will treat you with respect so you will I’ve noticed that.”ĭo this twice a week for at least three weeks. Give permission for the child to either solve or not solve Have the child state the consequences: “And how would Offer choices: “”Would you like to hear what other kids Send the power message: “What do you think you are Include the student in the development of the We generally fail to deliver a strong dose ofĮmpathy before providing the consequence.Įvery day we live in fear that some student will We often end up making threats we can’t back Student, his/her parents, our administrators, We “own” the problem rather than handing itīack to the student. Most of us have great difficulty thinking of one Contrive a consequence for the purpose of Say, “This will teach you a good lesson.”
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How to Destroy the Teaching Value of Logical The child learns through modeling to use The adult is seen as being able to handle
The child is much less likely to seek revenge. The adult-child relationship is maintained. The child must “own” his or her pain rather than The child is not distracted by the adult’s anger. Positive result if it is not delivered with “No behavior technique will have a lasting, Get it, we go after control over others.” “Do I want to control kids or do I want to obtain “We either give control on our terms, or the kids Never give choices unless you are willing to The child experience the consequence of that Never give a choice unless you are willing to let Don’t be afraid to say, “I usually give choices, Make a lot of the choices? Well, this time I When you need to make a withdrawal it isĮasier because the child sees you sharingĬontrol. Use phrases such as “That’s your choice,” Make frequent deposits when things are going Good decision, particularly if the child feels If your student does not make a timely choice, make the Give choices before the student becomes resistant.įor each choice give two options, each of which you like. Make deposits into the “Choices Saving Account” Give 99% of your choices when things are going well. “I will be glad to discuss this when respect is shown” “I will listen as soon as your voice is as calm as mine.” “I will listen to you when your fingers are not in your nose.” What to do we are telling them what we will That children have implied choices and be The effective application of limits requires Setting enforceable limits involves telling One liners help staff to be less reactive Encourages thinking skills with choices and use
Calms the reactive brain with empathy and Develops expectancy of always getting something Adding empathy helps to increase the chances of A strategy used to reduce the reactivity ofĪdults to students by setting firm limits in